In a move that left architects sobbing into their blueprints and historians clutching their pearls, the East Wing of the White House met its maker this week, via the bulldozer. President Trump, never one for subtlety, reportedly declared, “It’s the worst wing. Sad! Nobody liked it. Melania got lost in there once.” And with that, centuries of stately symmetry were reduced to rubble. The demolition crew arrived with MAGA hats and sledgehammers, chanting
“Make Architecture Great Again.” One worker claimed the ghost of Jackie Kennedy tried to stop them, but was distracted by a golden escalator installed mid-demolition. Plans for the replacement? A golf simulator, a crypto mining farm, and a rotating golden statue of Trump himself—visible from space. As dust settled and history trembled, one thing became clear: the East Wing didn’t stand a chance against the West Wing’s ego
