THE BRITISH STIFF UPPER LIP LIVES ON IN MODERN BRITAIN, AS A NEW STUDY SUGGESTS SIX IN TEN FIND TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS TOO DIFFICULT – AND A QUARTER WOULD RATHER SEND A FUNNY MEME
Six in ten (59 percent) of Britons, profess to find talking about their feelings extremely challenging, with a third (30 percent) unable to discuss emotional topics at all. In fact, as many as 42 percent prefer to put on a “brave face”, then tell friends or family when they’re upset, with 27 percent not wanting to appear vulnerable – and the same percentage feeling as if they should be able to cope on their own.
In true British style, 33 percent use humour or sarcasm to cover up their emotions, with 24 percent preferring to send memes or funny pictures to friends, to explain how they’re feeling. A third (36 percent), believe that using humour to cover up true emotions is a truly British trait, according to the poll, by Interflora.
Generationally, the poll revealed Gen Z’s (18-29 year olds) find it hardest to talk about emotions. That.s debatable. They seem to care about nothing else than “feelings”.
Finances (31 percent), mental health (29 percent), loneliness (28 percent), sexual dysfunction (25 percent) and social anxiety (25 percent) are considered the most difficult subjects to talk about. One in three (32 percent) Brits wish they could be more open and honest with friends and family, with half (53 percent) even building themselves up to talk to a family member or friend – only to change their mind. A third (32 percent) think that if their parents had been better at discussing big emotions when they were young, they would be better as an adult.
It’s no surprise that 39 percent believe that the British stiff upper lip is alive and well, with Gen Z’s feeling it the most (48 percent).
Bethany Day, Brand Manager at Interflora, which commissioned the survey said: “Our research shows that people are really struggling to have difficult conversations, even with their closest friends and family. We want to encourage people to open up because we know that when you say more, you forge stronger relationships and deeper connections and that is good for our health and happiness.”
Psychologist, Dr Soph Mort, who was involved in the study by Interflora, has given her ten expert tips, for broaching tough conversations and breaking away from the British stiff upper lip.
1. Swap Texts for Voice Notes – Voice notes provide the emotional connection of speech without the pressure of real-time responses. This format can reduce anxiety for millennials and Gen Z, who are more comfortable with asynchronous communication. Send a voice note instead of a text to help ease into deeper conversations with loved ones.
2. Set Up a ‘No Phones’ Walk – Walking side by side reduces the social pressure of direct eye contact, making it easier to talk about difficult topics. Physical activity can also boost mood, making conversation feel more natural. Suggest going for a phone-free walk with a friend or family member to engage in more meaningful conversations.
3. Do a ‘One Vulnerability’ Swap – Emotional vulnerability is contagious—when one person opens up, it often encourages others to do the same, fostering deeper emotional bonds. Propose a vulnerability swap where each person shares one thing they’ve been keeping to themselves.
4. Create a ‘Playlist Swap’ – Music is strongly tied to emotional memory. Sharing playlists allows people to communicate feelings and experiences without direct verbal conversation, making it an expressive, low-pressure way to connect. Swap playlists with a friend and discuss the emotions or memories behind the songs.
5. Play a Conversation Card Game – Playful activities reduce anxiety, and random prompts help break conversational barriers. The surprise factor of pulling out questions eases people into more open conversations. Interflora’s Conversations in Bloom conversation cards contain 25 thought-provoking prompts to encourage spontaneous conversation.
6. Suggest a “Storytelling” Dinner – Sharing personal stories helps create empathy and understanding, allowing people to express emotions indirectly through narrative, making it easier to open up. Organise a dinner where each person shares a personal story based on a chosen theme to foster meaningful conversations.
7. Try a Shared Journal – Writing helps people express thoughts they might struggle to share verbally. A shared journal allows for deeper reflection, leading to more meaningful conversations. Start a shared journal where you and your loved one write down thoughts and reflections for each other to read.
8. Designate a “Talk Signal” – Non-verbal cues help alleviate the pressure of directly asking for conversation, making it easier for people to communicate their need to talk without fear of rejection or awkwardness. Agree on a casual signal (like an emoji or phrase) that means “I need to talk” to make it easier to start important conversations.
9. Start a “Question of the Day” Text – Regular, casual engagement helps build conversational momentum over time. Asking a fun or light question via text makes it easier to ease into deeper discussions. Send a question of the day to a friend or family member to slowly build more meaningful conversations.
10. Create a ‘Check-In Calendar’ – Regular check-ins help normalise emotional sharing and reduce the avoidance of difficult conversations. Consistency allows people to feel more comfortable opening up over time. Set a weekly or monthly check-in time to have a regular emotional catch-up with a friend or family member, making difficult conversations less daunting.
THE BRITISH STIFF UPPER LIP LIVES ON
